![]() They’re created essentially by pumping some air bubbles up onto the flooded set, raising the volume of the music, and again asking the actors to tread water and duck down in red dye. Because the big fake sharks can’t get into the sinking laboratory, some baby fake sharks are introduced instead. It really didn’t.Īt the halfway mark, any semblance of an attempt to make a film that could ever be grounded in reality are thrown out of the window. Which are alternately lit by red, green or blue lights in an attempt to convince audiences the movie budget stretched to constructing more than three corridor sets. Once the computerised sharks conspire to pull off an utterly improbable health and safety accident, the unconvincing cast then stagger up and down the same unconvincing three flooded corridors. And this time round there’s nothing as noble as a cure for Alzheimer’s on the table, instead the plot features some ludicrous idea about a pharmaceutical company developing banned sports steroids by testing them on sharks. A recently married pair of young scientists. A brooding hero with the charisma of a plank of wood. A slightly less unconvincing eccentric billionaire. We’ve got an unconvincing female biologist. The only interest to be had here is drawing up the order in which you think they’ll die… The paper-thin plot then throws together a collection of the most cliched film characters ever, played by a couple of American TV actors. The titles sequence mercifully drops the Minecraft sharks (that look like they came from the same computer as ‘Mega-Shark Vs Giant Octopus’ and opt instead for some stock footage from Shark Week. It takes virtually no time at all to establish that these opening scenes will not be the worst crimes that the film has to offer. I’m literally less than five minutes in, and want to give up already. Death sequences involve asking an actor to tread water, throwing a bucket of red dye into the sea next to him, and then asking him to duck under for thirty seconds. So maybe the producers spent the money they saved on the CGI for some practical effects, right? Wrong. The pre-titles sequence sees two South African extras from Dredd slaughtered by what appears to be a synchronized swimming team of computerized sharks. It’s not just the sharks that have been created with shonky CGI, BUT THE SEA HAS BEEN TOO… From the opening couple of shots, it’s clear the makers of Deep Blue Sea 2 never had that conversation with anybody. The only way to sell a shark movie to an audience is to plow pretty much all of your production budget into creating convincing killing machines. ![]() Sharks are notoriously difficult to work with (you should see their riders), be they real or made of clockwork. There’s a reason that Hollywood doesn’t make many shark movies. And Deep Blue Sea 2 is a shining, gold-plated example of that skill. ![]() To get absolutely NOTHING posItive out of the film’s combined script, production and cast takes a skill that only comes along once in a generation. ![]() It’s practically a Holy Grail level of rarity. ![]() I will literally watch any old shit, and pretty much always find something redeeming in each and every one of them that a mainstream audience would most likely sniff at.įinding a movie that hasn’t got a single redeeming feature to it is a rare thing indeed. From Japanese horror movies, to animated sequels based on dead franchises, to Russian fantasy flicks. The advent of streaming has only served to destroy what little free time I had left. In-between raising a family of my own, holding down a full time job and writing for ScreenGeek, I watch a frankly stupid amount of TV and film. I’ve been a big sci-fi and comics fan since the first Captain America movie came out, and when I say that I don’t mean The First Avenger (Google it, kids, or ask your parents….). Given the release of The Meg, we felt it was a worthwhile experiment.īut first, a little bit about me. It’s fair to say that absolutely NO-ONE has had anything positive to say about the cult 1999 film’s unwanted sequel, and so the task fell to me to sit through the movie’s 90 minutes, and see if I could find anything at all that might improve the toxic 3/10 rating that it currently has on IMDB. Last April we bought you an article about some of the more savage reviews that had been meted out in relation to Deep Blue Sea 2. ![]()
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